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Negotiation is a process of trying to arrive at a mutually agreeable conclusion about something. It could be a sales situation; it could be a behavioral contract; it could be a cease fire. Negotiation is basically an agreement. What makes negotiation’s time consuming is that each party involved often has numerous needs that require some kind of guarantee of satisfaction. Until those needs are at least addressed in some way, there will be objections.

Objections are critically important in successful negotiations and taking into account all objections is ecological. That is, it takes into account varying components of the system. Negotiations often prove a failure after the fact because one or more of the parties does not express their objections to the proposed settlement. Then, after the negotiation is over, they start to feel shortchanged and don’t abide by the agreement.

In every successful negotiation it is critically important that objections be addressed. Some people involved in the negotiation may be shy or reserved about voicing objections. The facilitator or leader must draw out objections from participants so they can be discussed. Once out in the open, objections can be analyised and the need or concern they represent satisfied. For example, let’s say a couple is in marital counseling negotiating a behavioral contract. The husband wants the wife to contribute her paycheck into the joint checking account but she wants to open her own checking account. She objects to putting her money into the joint checking account. A good question to ask to understand the reason for the objection is “what would happen if you did put your money in the joint checking account?” This requires the wife to verbalize her concerns. She might say “I wouldn’t feel as though I had some of my own money to spend in my own way whenever I wanted to for whatever reason.” The negotiator might then say “If you knew you could spend your money any way you wanted whenever you wanted for whatever you wanted even with the money in a joint checking account, would you then be OK with the joint checking account?” The wife might ponder this and if she says yes the condition upon which the negotiation would be successful is clarified. But, if she says no that indicates there is yet another objection which has not yet been verbalized. At that point, the negotiator needs to uncover a deeper layer of objection. This is accomplished largely through asking specific questions.

This process of uncovering layers of objection is the ecological part of negotiation. It ensures that all parties involved or all parts of a single person’s mind have addressed every single objection. Ecological negotiation is one of the most effective means of behavior change because although we may say we want to change behaviors, for example, to quit smoking, we find it difficult or fail because there is also a part of us that does not want to change. A person who says they want to lose weight might be surprised to find there is a part of them that objects to that goal. Ecological negotiation attempts to find the reason behind not wanting to lose weight and try and satisfy that need in some other way. For example, being overweight can serve a need. In some it might be power, in others it might be protection. Without discovering the need that being overweight serves and finding other ways to meet that need, there will be an objection to losing weight.

Everyone has needs and most all behavior is designed to meet those needs. Ecological negotiation takes this into account and recognizes that all objections are a way of saying “hey, if that happens my needs won’t be met so I’m going to object.” By accepting the objection in that light and helping that need be met in other ways, the negotiator removes obstacles to a truly successful negotiation.

Are you frightened of speaking in public? You’re not alone. I’ve yet to meet anyone who can genuinely tell me they weren’t very nervous before their first couple of presentations. Being nervous is a good thing as it gives you a pool of energy you can harness to perform at your best. The trouble arises when you are so nervous that it inhibits your ability to function and remember what you were going to say.

This is the first in a four-part series of tips for overcoming a fear of public speaking. In this article we look at rehearsing, memorizing the first few minutes and having key points to remind you what you are going to speak about. In later articles we look at ways to stop the feeling of panic, memory techniques, asking for help and having back up plans for the worst things that could happen.

Tip #1 Rehearse

The more confidence you feel when you walk onto the stage, the better. You can get this confidence from the real thing (giving presentations) or by rehearsing. Practice your presentation in front of friends, the mirror, a video camera or alone. Every time you rehearse, you will identify areas to improve upon and begin to feel more confident about giving the presentation.

I find that if I am practising by myself or in front of a mirror that I tend to waffle a lot more than I do in front of an audience. I also speak much more slowly during rehearsal than I do for the real thing. So if you are practising to make sure your timing is right; keep in mind this difference in speed.

Tip #2 Memorize the first 2 or 3 minutes of your presentation

Most people usually feel extremely nervous for the first few minutes of a presentation. Once you are into it, your nervous energy settles down and you become focused more upon the task than upon worry. To help you get through this first 2 or 3 minutes, it may be useful to memorize the start of your talk.

Tip #3 Have some key points to remind you what to say next

One of the key fears presenters have is that they will forget what they have to say. There are a few things you can do to overcome this challenge:

• Speak in terms of ideas rather than trying to remember words. If you are speaking about an idea, the words you need to use will flow more naturally.
• Use the notes pages from your PowerPoint presentation rather than your written paper. On the notes part for each slide put some bullet points about the major topics you were going to discuss for that slide. Don’t write down all the details, just the major points. If you write down all the details, the writing will be very small and you may start to panic trying to look through the tiny writing to find where you are up to.
• If you would feel more comfortable using your written paper, beware of the fact that it is harder to find where you are up to in pages and pages of writing. Highlight the key points you will need to focus upon. Don’t highlight whole paragraphs, just key words or phrases so that you can quickly and easily skim to find where you are up to.
• You will find it even easier if you can turn your presentation into a story. Stories have their own natural links and logical process. By telling a story, rather than giving a presentation, you can almost guarantee you won’t forget where you are up to.

The first three ways for overcoming your fear of public speaking were to rehearse, memorize the first few minutes and have some key points to remind you what you are going to say next. Other great ways for overcoming your fear of public speaking are provided in the next three articles in this series.